what can ya do

we had a horrible storm the other day, they are calling it a hurricane like storm in Nebraska! we had up to 112 mph winds. trees are uprooted and tossed about on to major power lines. large construction equipment thrown about targets parking lot in to cars and in to the trailer park just accost the parking lot. drywall acting like a concrete block smashing in to the windshield of cars. the side of garages panted with leaves that looked like they just went threw a shredder first. peoples roof have been torn off.

this is day 2 with out power. its fun for the first 3 hours after that it gets a bit old. my shower this morning (all tho my water is heated by gas, it still uses an electric switch to turn it on. same with the fireplace.) I'm just a little bored, I've been hanging out with friends to keep busy. and to charge up the cell phone. work has power, sadly this is a good thing, because i need money for my vacation. I'll post some pictures as soon as i get my power back on. its amazing what the weather can do.

take your daughter to work day

I got up early this morning and went to my dads work. I've been thinking about going out there for a while and today I had an hour before I had to go to work and I was already in my car and the radio on had my coffee I was ready for a drive. So I drove across Omaha it was about a 20 minute drive. When I got there I didn't know if I could just walk threw the door that said do not come in unless you are apart of the staff. The lady sitting on the other side of a big glass window asked "can I help you?" I said "yes, is mark davis here?" she said "mark you have someone here to see you" he comes around the corner with his glasses down on his nose and said "HI!" with a big smile on his face, he goes on "that’s my daughter!" and they all asked "what he did to me" aka "why is she on crutches" and he was explaining it the long way… so I kind of took over so I could sum up the conversation and visit with my dad. It was soo nice to be there he told everyone .. "that’s my daughter that’s my daughter!" and when I left I was walking out and he says again "that’s my daughter!" he was soo happy to see me and he was so proud to tell everyone who I was. It just gave me the best feeling in the whole world! My daddy was happy to see me. awww

cAn'T sLeEp !

so moms coming to town in like 8 days. I'm stressed! high anxiety i can't handle it. 8 days away and i can not sleep what the F? ugh my apartment is way to small for 2 grown people to come and stay with me. she is so type A personality that i dint know what to do. i can not afford them to be here for 2 days i do not have the money to feed them and i can not afford to take off work anymore than i am.. she doesn't know how to get to my apartment and i can tell her a 100 times but i'm afraid its still going to be a big fight when she gets here. its going to be so many questions about how i do not clean well enough, about why are you using this kind of dish soap and not this kind and why do you put your towels here they should be there.. ok i may be exaggerating this a very very little bit she may not care about the kind of dish soap i use. i have a studio you don't understand its to small for even ME! i'm going to hear it .. i am.. where are all the pictures i send you .. why don't you have the huge picture of your self i gave you.. where is the picture of your grandma and me .. you don't like anything i do for you .. you are so disrespectful.. eeek! its not that i just don't like a 100 pictures of my self on every wall.. it got to the point that my friends were like.. you like your self a little bit huh.. and i would have to say my mom sends them to me and they would say .. doesn't mean you have to have them up . i just feel uneasy about this whole trip.. because after my mom comes here to omaha i then have to take her and my brother to KS where my sister lives... ugh, when my mom and my sister get together they just kind of pick on me.. i'm always the odd one out.. i dont wear a size 9 like they do .. i dont do what they do.. i'm not the perfect one i'm just me.. i swear to god if this trip to ks goes down hill some people will be left there and i will come home on my own. i dont care if you are family dont piss me off..hmm that felt good to say how ever .. its not true .. i'll just be pissy and deal with it.. my sister said that my mom is super excited .. i wish i was more excited than worried about how all of this will turn out. man.. shes going to pick on me about my apartment about my cat .. how my cat leaves hair around.. you just don't understand how bad this is truly going to suck ass holes... i'm doomed! i don't do well in these situations i become more and more upset until the littlest thing ticks me off and then i just lose it.. its going to get to the point where i'm super stressed and my mom showes up and says .. why did you tell me to turn there and not here .. i'm going to scream "the trip is off i'm staying home" .... at least i know my self to know what to expect ..

god hates me i've decided.

i love my mom when i go see here.. but its hard .. omaha is to big for her to drive around in. she does not like big city's. and unless i'm in the car with you .. i do not give very good directions.

i'm laying in bed and my palms are sweaty and i cant sleep and i'm tossing and turning over something that's not happening for 8 days! maybe 9! fuck. fuck. fuck. i don't want to be responsible for this situation i just want to be the by stander .. I'm a good by stander.. i watch people fight and then stick my 2 cents in and then i laugh and judge who had the winning side.

i'm going to hear about what kind of food i have i'm going to hear about why i only have one breakfast choice.. umm because i'm not in a 5 star hotel. that's why. because i live on my own with no kids and i can eat the same thing every morning. i kind of like it. i know what i'm going to eat tomorrow morning .. because its the same thing i had this morning.

i just have a fear shes going to come into town super early and shes going to show up at my work (not sure how she'll find it) and then i don't know what to do with her for 5 hours until i get off of work. i picture my self showing her my desk and telling her who everyone is and then her just sitting at my desk with her legs crossed staring at me .. with that look of disapproval .. and the whole thing would be .. is that i told her to leave at 4pm and she left at 4 am instead because she wanted to beat the traffic .. but she still gets stuck in traffic but its the morning traffic. ugh. i'm going to hear about how i never clean behind my stove or my fridge. i'm going to hear about the clump of tooth past that may have been left that morning before i go to work .. i'm going to hear about how i don't have a door on my bathroom.. fuck i'm going to have to put the door back on.. sigh.

at this point you may be thinking i'm making this up to be more than it really is.. how ever.. don't say that until you meet my mom.

today is a good day.

this morning i woke up and i had a thing or 2 to do. i went down and did a taste testing for some food and left there and had to go swimming. i have not been in my pool since it opened on may 26th and today is the 20th of june. we have been having bad weather or i've been at work on our really nice days. i was soo happy when i got there and had the WHOLE thing to my self! i couldn't get out of my clothes fast enough and the water was chilly because it was 1130am. i got to swim and play and twirl and be happy. i got to flout in the water and enjoy the sun light beaming on to my pale white skin. after this i laid in the sun until i was dry enough and then came home. with nothing to do i laid in bed and then got up and got dressed with out taking a shower (shh don't tell). and i went to my apartment people and signed a new lease. i didn't really want to but i just need to freshen up my apartment i think i'm just tired of looking at the same white walls. i need paint i need color and i need a little touch of happiness. so then i went to the store and picked up a few things and someone brought them out to my car for me and no one asked me why i couldn't walk. then i came home chit chatted on the phone for a bit .. and i still have a whole bunch of hours left in the day.. its crazy being up this early i don't know what to do with my self. and tomorrow i have that day off too! yaaa! so nice , today .. is a good day. i feel as tho i make to many restrictions on my own life. that i forget that sometimes i don't have to do this in order to do that .. how about just doing that and dealing with this later. i want to make cupcakes. i think i will ya!

Baby Food

This is what pisses me off about not being able to walk! EVERY TIME I buy banana's they end up smashed. Every ones like ooh you should eat at home its cheaper its healthier.. well they can carry in my groceries so my bread and my banana's do not become baby food!

I was proud of my self tho I bought a 12 pack of soda (me so happy) I normally do not do this because it is to heavy for me to carry in (and it was) but I did it. I did have to leave the milk be hind for next time because that would have been just to much. Apparently I was crazy when i was at the sore because I bought 90 dollars worth of food. And then had to carry in all 15 bags. I really wish a video camera would fallow me around for a week and see the things I have to do to get things done. I do not think people truly understand how hard my life is, how much work it can be to do things you do so easily. I'm tired of asking for help (other than small things like water or a soda here and there). Honestly I'm not asking for sympathy or pity, just stop and think every once in a while and realize that your every day life could be harder. ya know? I don't feel sorry for my self, but every once in a while I think to my self .. damn this sucks!! Then a few tears fall and I wipe them a way and know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger .. and my life could be worse. At least my apartment isn't in a flood and my car hasn't been destroyed by a tornado.

Free firewood

Sadly there was a tornado in Omaha a week or so ago. My cat and I spent some time in the closet thankfully we and everyone we knew are ok.

Tonight I was at work and we had a tornado warning starting at 7pm until 915pm we were off the phones and I was in a tornado safe class room surrounded by glass. We were able to pull up the weather and we sat threw the first warning and at 815 they extended it for another hour! You realizes that you should always keep gum or breath mints on you when its this time of year.. just for those extra close times you share with your co-workers.

But honestly I'm thankful that we make it ok threw this one as well. I hope this all comes to an end soon. I don't remember it ever being this bad. I think it has a lot to do with the weather changing so dramatically, with global warming. My heart goes out to all of those people in the flooding areas. You can't do anything but watch the water come up, and up, and up! In the few pictures we have seen on the Internet it looks like the whole city's are coming together to keep the water out of the downtown and that's always nice to see. I hope it all comes to an end soon. or we will have to play out the move "water world" i never did like that movie. Perhaps the wind will dry up the water and than we can go back to how we were!

Sister "karriann" came to town

"But its Gauche" my sister says..

I say "I don't care what it is I'm trying to take a picture of you, besides I don't know what that means."

She goes on "Gauche .. Prada.. Coach .. you know.. "

I said nope have no idea... its taking up to much room put it on the floor so I can take a picture .. I mean on the table I don't care get it out of my shot. . "

"How about like this .. with my Starbucks"

I said "We are not doing a Starbucks commercial I just want my a picture of my sister!"

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"Yes I did" I went on "Sit up and smile and look like you love me! "

All in all it was good to see my sister. My dads wife was rude like always trying to tell me my dad was going to be taking a nap so my sister wouldn't come over to the house. I have to put up with her so she can deal with me and my sister and we will come over when ever we want to! I wish my dad would wake up and smell the coffee and realize that shes always has treated us different... like we are beneath her. The fact is .. no matter what she does we will always be my daddy's girls.

I can get as mad as I want at my sister but no one shall ever say anything rude to her or about her because I'll always be the first one to stick up for her. We have our little fights and little arguments and all it means is that we love each other, its the only way we know how to show it sometimes. When I tell her you drive me nuts .. it really means I love you so much! We are our own dysfunctional family, and i love it, I also miss it. Thankfully its summer so we will be seeing more of each other.. It is easier to travel in the summer than the winter.

we have so much in common and that's more than likely why we can get on each others nerves. Like when we went shopping and we pick out the same thing every time. I was looking at some drinking glasses and I said I LOVE THIS ONE she said "I already own them" ha!

if you could see what you say..

Ya for a new camera!
I will have to post lots of pictures. that will be my new task. I think pictures do say a 1,000 words.
I think I should start watching what I say... for instants last night I was a little irritated talking to my cousin and she was complaining about the tornado weather and I said "well you should live in Omaha .. Omaha Never has tornado's ... " and then last night at about 230am the tornado came threw Omaha. OOPS..
one other time this has happened this guy named Nick had pissed me off to no end!!! i was soo mad at him and left a voice mail that said "i hope you die" (it was back when i was young and not very nice) That night he ended up in the ER because he had ate something he was allergic to and his air ways were closing up.. and he did almost die. .. oops ..
I had lunch with my sister and my dad today (breakfast food for lunch such a Davis thing) I feel a little bad because i stole the conversation.. Its not my fault my dad likes my story's.. I'm closer to my dad than my sister and she is closer to my mom .. what can you do. I make my dad laugh and i do get a kick out of being able to do that. i sit down for 2 minutes and hes already cracking up. we have the same kind of humor. When we watch TV together we both laugh at the same time at the same things and my step mom never gets what we were laughing at.
I wish i could show you a pic of this overwhelming sized monster energy drink i have!
man its only 452pm i have to work until 1130 still 6 1/2 hours.. shesh! i wish i could upload pics while at work! that would be awesome!

I feel better

I've been a little depress as of late. If I stay busy I'm ok, but once the music stops I get a bit sad.
Sad
Lay in bed
Thing about debt
get depress
Then I don't want to get out of bed
to do laundry
to go to work (to make money)
then I'm sadder because now I'm losing money
I go to work
People as dumb questions
I become easily irritated
Sister wants me to live my weekend around her
I'm still irritated
I leave work early lose more money
Get gas (depressing all by its self)
go shopping
spend money
fill guilty for spending money
I think I need new brakes
I need money for brakes
shit I left work early
go to dads
tell dad I'm irritated with sister
he asks whats the real reason you are upset
because I bought a 200 dollar camera and I'm in debt and they keep calling me and I may need brakes.
dad "so fix it"
me "ok"
lets get ice cream
sigh
I feel better.

asses

I really want to watch my shows... I mean yeah.. the tornado could be taking my apartment down but I would like to enjoy my last few moments of life by watching super nanny. asses.
So last night I get home at 130am and someone took my handicap spot!!! asses. I mean do they think that spot is for looks or maybe just to piss of the people who can walk.. well they are wrong.. I really can not walk .. and i really would like to park in my spot when its 130am and its that creepy dark out. when you don't know if someone is going to come out and stab you to death or not.. I don't really care to walk all the way across the parking lot.
the thoughts i had as i walked passed this car (a) to key it (b) to call the cops so they could get a ticket (c) to have it towed (d) bash in the windows
They are very lucky I'm not violent or mean.. and only have mean thoughts .. by the way i did double check to make sure the car did not have a handicap sticker in it and then got to my front door and lost all ambition to do anything harmful.. asses.

Straw that broke that camels back

My cousin was upset with me telling her no, (about letting her use my work discount). said all of these mean things and the whole I never want to talk to you again thing. I never really got mad about it, I knew she was just upset. I just couldn't believe her being 8 months older than I she didn't have any tact. It was as if she had never been told no before in her life she just wanted to get her way and said everything she could trying to get her way. It was all over texting so it wasn't like she didn't have time to think before she sent the message. It wasn't like we were screaming on the phone at each other and you say something out anger she had to type it (as we all know can take a minute or longer depending on how long the message is). I was shocked. anyways half of the messages where to long thankfully I didn't have to read you are such a ..... and then the message would end. so who knows. I was talking with my dad telling him this story and he said oh yeah I already know your aunt already told me. So now I know its getting around the family... Sunday night I'm at work she text's me and says " I need my best friend back!" "I need to talk to you!" she said "can't you go to the bathroom for a few minutes so I can talk to you!" I said "No, I'm the only one working" she throws a fit. trying to get her way again. I was thinking someone had died by the way she was acting. so I quick call her and said "whats going on I can't talk to you right now" She said "oh i was just trying to get my way. .. you can call me when you get off of work" WHAT!!!! OMG! I said " you really need to stop doing that and hung up the phone!"
Ok I get off of work and I call her and I'm on my way to the local Jimmy Johns and my phone dies.. oops.. so its after midnight i didn't call her back she texted me to tell me shes going to bed.
Next day, Monday I'm off so I thought I would give her a call to find out what is going on I now know its not life or death so I called and she complained about her other friends for about 40 minutes and all this drama that she has created her self! She wanted the cousin of these 2 girls to get along. apparently it was a family falling out and now everyone is upset with her because she was trying to get the 3 of them and her to hang out. so after she was done complaining I said sooo do you know why this all started .. she said no why i said because you wanted these people to get along and they didn't want to and now they are mad at you. so don't try to help people who don't want the help.. ..
She had said about someone "well she was acting like a 2 year old so I did the same thing back." I'm sure that's not what we are to do when we grow up we are to look past that and say "I'm not going to go down to that level I'm going to act my age" not to forget to point out she was just acting like a 2 year old on her own when she was mad at me about me telling her no.
And she wants to walk around and say she is a "Jehovah Witness" well shes not acting very godly at these moments is she.
So anyways my whole point is... after this whole fight and this whole conversation I start to think you do kind of become more distant after each fight that you have when you get older.. you kind of separate your self from that. It didn't feel like ya I'm so happy to talk to you ... after you say all those mean things to me... maybe its just another faze in my life maybe it will go away and the next time I go to see her it will be exciting. idk maybe this is the straw that broke the camels back.

so i can't walk .. get over it I did!

congenital hip dysplasia

A condition of abnormal development of the hip, resulting in hip joint instability and potential dislocation of the thigh bone from the socket in the pelvis. This condition has been more recently termed developmental hip dysplasia, as it often develops over the first few weeks, months, or years of life.

Description

Congenital hip dysplasia is a disorder in children that is either present at birth or shortly thereafter. During gestation, the infant's hip should be developing with the head of the thigh bone (femur) sitting perfectly centered in its shallow socket (acetabulum). The acetabulum should cover the head of the femur as if it were a ball sitting inside of a cup. In the event of congenital hip dysplasia, the development of the acetabulum in an infant allows the femoral head to ride upward out of the joint socket, especially when weight bearing begins.

Spinal Cord Tumors

The spinal cord is, in part, like a living telephone cable. Lying protected the bony spine, it contains bundles of nerves that carry messages between the brain and the body's nerves, such as instructions from the brain to move an arm or information from the skin that signals pain. A tumor that forms on or near the spinal cord can disrupt this communication. Often, these tumors exert pressure on the spinal cord or the nerves that exit from it; sometimes, they restrict the cord's supply of blood.

The man who saved my life...

Fred Epstein, who died Sunday at 68, was a neurosurgeon known for his innovative and aggressive treatment of brain and spinal tumors in children, and also for his humanistic philosophy of treatment, which brought a holistic focus on the family to pediatric surgery.

He was founding director of the Hymen-Newman Institute for Neurology and Neurosurgery at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York. While keeping the institute at the forefront of medical technology with robotic surgical tools and the like, he also brought in a Buddhist monk to help patients meditate and once brought the Dalai Lama along on his ward rounds.
The Washington Times said of him that he had "the gray eminence of a space-shuttle commander with the mushiness of Leo Buscaglia."

A rarity among specialists, Epstein's number was published in the Greenwich phonebook, and he encouraged prospective patients to call him at all hours. He was known for operating in cowboy boots, much to the delight of children, who called him simply "Fred."
Epstein was known as a charismatic advocate who rejected the conventional emotional wall between doctor and patient. He would go to nearly heroic lengths, sometimes to the consternation of critics. "I'm outraged about tumors," he told Ted Koppel in a 2001 interview on Nightline, one of his many appearances in the national news. "I guess I've dedicated my life, really, to trying to cure them all."

In another interview, with the Washington Times in 1993, Epstein said, "I cannot go into the operating room until the child is asleep. If I go before the child is asleep I get terribly upset, y'- know? Crying, I just can't go."

Epstein's career came to an abrupt end in 2001, when he fell from his bicycle and — despite wearing a helmet — sustained severe neurological damage that left him in a coma for weeks, and partially paralyzed. His beloved INN, which once boasted the highest number of pediatric discharges in the city, was parceled out among other hospitals.
Epstein grew up in Yonkers. He was the son of a psychiatrist and decided at an early age to become a doctor. But he was an indifferent student, and was initially rejected at a dozen medical schools. He later came to attribute his problems to attention deficit disorder, which he overcame through determination. He graduated from New York Medical College in 1963. After completing his neurosurgical residency at New York University-Bellevue Medical Center in 1970, he was appointed assistant professor of Neurosurgery at New York University. In 1983, he became director of the division of pediatric neurosurgery, a specialty he helped to invent.

Epstein was involved with several high-profile surgeries over the years, including one in 1981 on Yankee pitcher Tommy John's son Travis, who fell out of a window and injured his head when he landed on the family car. Epstein's surgery was successful, and, as with many of his cases, he kept in touch with the family for years afterwards. Mr. John credited Epstein with saving his son's life.

In a seemingly bizarre case that received national play, Epstein in 1997 agreed to operate on a millionaire's dog, a pug with a spinal problem, on condition that the millionaire pay for surgery for a needy child. "You know what was the hardest thing for me?" Epstein told ABC News. "While I was operating on the spinal cord, to become adjusted to the adjacent operating room barking." The beneficiary was a Pennsylvania boy with a spinal tumor, which Epstein operated on. The next year, the pug and the boy visited Epstein together for a checkup. (As of 2005, the boy was alive but the pug had died of old age.)

Also in 1997, after a British girl under his care died, Epstein was criticized by a leading British cancer specialist for offering victims of cancer false hope with "useless" treatments, and the British General Medical Council lodged a formal complaint with the New York Medical Board. The complaint went nowhere, and the girl's father praised Epstein in a news report in the Scotsman for giving his daughter "an extra nine months." He added, "British doctors are a disgrace, most of them. They give in too easily. They should learn from Dr. Epstein."
The way Epstein liked to tell the story, he came to his humanistic view of treatment through a poem written by a terminal patient with brain cancer, that ended "I ask you, reader, whoever you may be, take my trembling hand and warm it with care and sympathy."
"I just keep thinking, ‘Hold my trembling hand,'" Epstein told Mr. Koppel.
In 1996, Beth Israel gave him the opportunity to put his beliefs in action with a state-of-the-art pediatric facility, the INN. About 100 NYU staff members followed Epstein to his new venture. In addition to modern technology, the $25 million facility was outfitted with sleeper chairs so parents could stay with their kids.The recovery room was eliminated so children could wake up with their parents.

In 2003, partially paralyzed by his bicycle accident and wearing an eye-patch to combat double vision, Epstein gathered inspirational stories of sick children for a book titled "When I Get to Five," the title coming from a 4-year-old cancer patient who dreamed of what she would accomplish in just a year — tying her shoes and riding a two-wheeler.
Children, he wrote, are "remarkably resilient in the face of life-threatening illness, largely because of their openness to experience and their willingness to live fully in the present." The book concluded, "We may know too much about the unpredictable ways of the world to expect a happy ending, but we can't help but hope for one all the same. It's the only way to get to five."
Fred EpsteinBorn July 26, 1937, in Yonkers; died July 9 of metastatic malignant melanoma at his home in Greenwich, Conn.; survived by his wife of 42 years, Kathy, his children Samara Epstein Cohen, Ilana Epstein Grady, Jason Epstein, Joseph Epstein, and Benjamin Epstein; three grandchildren and a brother, Simon Epstein, M.D.

1st time blogger long time reader

Ya! I'm a blogger now. This all started because today I was on the internet and I was looking for an interesting blog to read, I was not able to find one so I thought what better to do than to make your own blog.
This weekend was crazy and hectic but I enjoyed most of it. I realized for how much I crave to be around my big family I still love my hole in the wall apartment with my cat Phoenix. Speaking of cats, my step brothers cat had kittens and they have 7 toes on each of the front paws. Its it odd that I want one only because its different. I also think Phoenix needs a friend. I leave for 11 to 20 hours day when I have to work. She just seems a little bored and maybe sad. But then again its another mouth to feed. More poop to scoop. I have 2 or 3 more weeks to think about it the kittens are only 5 weeks old.
So about this weekend, I was in Blair with my step brother Tony his wife and there 4 kids. My step sister Kara with her 2 kids (from FL) and my other step sister Kristy with her 2 kids. My other step sister Karleen she has no kids. My dad and his wife. The funniest part was when my step brother Tony said "how's it feel to be related to all of these crazy people.." and I said "the only person I'm related to is the guy downstairs playing Xbox. (my dad)" Tony is a nice guy a bit over stressed and demanding and type A personality everything has to be done NOW! Just not me. And I feel bad for his wife but she married the guy.
Well I guess I should do some work. I'll be back to blog some more.